SI Final Reflection

It's hard to believe that this is the last day of the summer institute.I have learned so much from Lil, Lacy, Sally and everyone here. Here is what I wrote on the first day of our summer institute (it seems so long ago):

"Well here we go...The first day of the summer institute.As I look at this photograph, I think about this institute with a sense of nervousness, excitement, where do I fit in? Will I fit in? The sense of individuals, a community yet to be built.Even as an adult, it's hard to begin that first day of something new, different."

The community and support that has been built is amazing. The overall lesson that I have learned is from the Purification poem by Wendell Berry. I need to always "be" in the moment. I need to be attentive to the wonders around me. I need to RE-Vision the way I see and do things.

Teacher as Writer
This is how I started out with applying this concept to myself:
"Do I see myself as a writer? This is the question that Megan made me ask myself today in her demo. As I made my list of who is a writer/who is not a writer, I was forced to look at my self-selected writer criteria. My list of Writers included: Amy Tan, Stephanie Meyers and my good friend. I was the only person on my non writer list. In my head, writers are published people that are good at what they do. That was my initial thinking. I don't consider myself a good writer. As I listened to the conversation though, I thought...I do have a blog, I DO post on Facebook, I do write grants and do paperwork. I start everyday with a text/email to my husband since we keep such different schedules. The question posed by someone else...does it have to be habitual? also got me thinking. I do write everyday. But is it WHAT you write everyday that makes you a writer?"

Through Lil, I realized what was holding me back in claiming in the writer identity. During her Grammar discussion, this is what I wrote:
"The grammar discussion really tied it together for me. I thought about my earlier post about my definition of a writer and it hit me. I think that grammar is tied into our identities. People perceive you through your grammar, judge you through your grammar. My fear of grammar is why I do not consider myself a writer."

Through this institute, I have discovered that I AM a writer and I AM claiming it.

Teacher as Inquirer
I think that a teacher is inherently an inquirer--in class and in life. We are always thinking "How can I make this better?What went well?What could I have done early?What if I did this, what would happen?" I know that the summer institute has made me think this way everyday. I want to bring this curiosity and momentum with me into the new school year. I discovered through my inquiry into movtivating students to write for social action:
I Believe
Even in These Dangerously Beautiful Times

I believe in the power of the sun
In the notion that ideas can change the clouds’ formations
A snowflake’s aim and determination
To comfort a lonely, barren mountain peak
I believe in the recklessness of love
The ameliorative benefits of human connection

I sense hope in the certainty of death
Despite the tragedies of senseless ambitions
The citizens shout fire and gas and chains
And the pulpits do not hide their bold intentions
I sense hope in a journey through the birth canal
And in the selfishness of procreation

I hear change in the wind between guitar strings
In verses, in strokes, in midnight proclamations
In parked cars abandoned by hungry, eager feet
In a city street, in a mass amalgamation
I hear change in the measured responses to unanswered questions
Because even the patient have their limitations

- Ernest Morrell

I DO hear change in the measured responses to unanswered questions and want to focus my inquiry on that for this school year.

Teacher as Professional

This is synonymous with collaboration. This is what SI is all about. We are a powerful group of intelligent voices that can make a huge impact by working together. I am thinking now of pursuing teachers as the focus audience of my inquiry...motivating teachers in some way through creating a teacher community within my school, social action with teachers. I will need help from my fellow SI'ers.

I look forward continuing to learn from the National Writing Project and each other.

Starting Line--A poem in two voices

Starting Line

Let’s do it. You can do it! It will be fun. What if I come in LAST?
The first step is to set up a committed training schedule. What if I couldn’t finish? What I was last?


What if I had to go to the bathroom on the bridge?
Too bad! You will have to pee in your pants.

What were the chances of the bus driver letting me ride

back to the parking deck with him?
Really? We are all here to run with you.
Not a chance. Surely I could stand at the finish line and cheer on my

friends.

10k? That was 6 miles right?
That’s 6 miles. That’s 6 miles.

If some of these people here can do it, then couldn’t I?

What if I come in LAST?
Then we both come in last. We drove the round about way to get here, right? That’s not

the actual route, right?
No.
Breathe,you can do it. Come on, I think I can do it.

Evolution vs Revolution is messing with my Inquiry

After reading Carrie's blog and Megan's blog,I am inspired and energized. I go back to today to the writing into the day,Revolution vs. Evolution. Why not revolt? Within the community that we created, we ranted about all the things that bother, anger, and frustrate us. Why keep ranting? Why not change things instead? We are powerful and intelligent group of people. Together our voices could make a huge impact. Any issue we choose to work on together (teacher respect,creating teacher communities, the public perception of teacher), we could change together! So my original inquiry idea was motivating students to write for social action. The more I blog and twitter stalk as well dialogue with my fellow SI'ers , the more I am changing my thinking. I am thinking now of pursuing teachers as the focus audience of my inquiry...motivating teachers in some way through creating a teacher community within my school, social action with teachers. Does this make sense?

Identity--SI Day 7

Carrie's demo got me thinking about my identity and myself as a writer. I think that you create your identity through your thoughts, words and actions, both intentionally and unintentionally. Your identity is also created through the perceptions of others, how others may perceive you. You adjust to these perceptions whether consciously or subconsciously.Megan remarked that when looking at people "You still remember who they were but it deepens who they are now." I think it works that way when you are thinking about yourself.Your experiences shape your identity and always remain with you. You may see yourself one way one day and it changes the next--evolves.The grammar discussion really tied it together for me. I thought about my earlier post about my definition of a writer and it hit me. I think that grammar is tied into our identities. People perceive you through your grammar, judge you through your grammar. My fear of grammar is why I do not consider myself a writer.

SI Day 6 --Part 2

We started the day by looking at ourselves as writers, teachers, and inquirers. By trusting in the moment and being there, we revisited the three strands as well as our assessment discussion from yesterday and created a living tableaux. We portrayed what assessment means to us. I must say it was not a very uplifting picture. The mood brightened considerably though as we processed our tableaux and reworked what assessment could mean for us and how we could use it to strengthen our community. Rashid's demo was next. We started with writing into the demo and discovering our own "tipping point" ala Macolm Gladwell. Exploring social media inspired revolutions, we walked through integrating writing with social studies. Museum Box (http://museumbox.e2bn.org/) was the perfect container for our thoughts. Rashid had us get with a partner and create Museum box about a current revolution.

Ashley's demo was next. She expanded on the theme of social action with her demo, Critical Literacy Using Technology. Using the 5 critical literacy practices outlined by Ciardiello, we explored the social justice theme of homelessness. Through our exploration of homelessness, we were asked to answer the call of service and draft a piece of writing addressing the issue. Her glogster was inspiring and provided us with weeks of lessons.

After a writing lunch, we energized with Shakedown. Arms and legs were flailing as we counted down to zero. Megan then followed up with her demo, What does it mean to be a writer? We revisited our writing mission statements from a demo earlier in the week and investigated where our ideas of writing identities originated. We made lists of who we considered writers and who were not writers. Our non writers lists were whittled down to nothing by the end except for Lacy's cat.

We wrapped up the day with more discussion about the expectations and options for our portfolios and how we can do them, both collaboratively as well as retain our individuality if we want to. Another great day! I say that together at SI ,let's start a revolution as writers!

SI Day 6 Part 1:What is a writer?

Do I see myself as a writer? This is the question that Megan made me ask myself today in her demo. As I made my list of who is a writer/who is not a writer, I was forced to look at my self-selected writer criteria. My list of Writers included: Amy Tan, Stephanie Meyers and my friend, Intisar Hamidullah. I was the only person on my non writer list. In my head, writers are published people that are good at what they do. That was my initial thinking. I don't consider myself a good writer. As I listened to the conversation though, I thought...I do have a blog, I DO post on Facebook, I do write grants and do paperwork. I start everyday with a text/email to my husband since we keep such different schedules. The question posed by someone else...does it have to be habitual? also got me thinking. I do write everyday. But is it WHAT you write everyday that makes you a writer?

SI Day 5

Where do I begin? Ranting was the perfect way to get back into the week--to clear my thoughts and get my head into the game. The demos were great. The discussion of grammar as power did connect to my inquiry in the aspect of are all voices being heard? or excluded intentionally vs. unintentionally? The socratic semminar from this afternoon also lent itself to this dialogue.

Tonight is about reflecting on the portfolio and playing with inquiry.

The Race: Bare Bones

“Let’s do it. You can do it! It will be fun.” These words uttered by my 20-something colleagues are how I found myself running across the Cooper River Bridge to celebrate my 35th birthday. This was incidentally the first race that I have ever run in. Running 6 miles to celebrate my birthday with friends sounded like a great idea at the time, an easily maintainable goal, months away. I didn’t take into consideration a traveling husband, busy toddler, tumultuous school year and bronchitis.

“The first step is to set up a committed training schedule”, my running buddy said. This voice rang in my head while I was packing to go to Charleston for the big race. I hadn’t trained as much as I would have liked/should have and was really worried about making a fool of myself.

My alarm went off at 4:15 am. to catch the shuttle to the race. As we wound through the dark, other runners were chatting, some were singing. My friends and I sat in a stupor. It was cold! As the bus crossed the city of Charleston and wound it’s way through neighborhoods, I started to panic. I wondered what I had gotten myself into. What if I couldn’t finish? What I was last? What if I had to go to the bathroom on the bridge?What were the chances of the bus driver letting me ride back to the parking deck with him. Surely I could stand at the finish line and cheer on my friends. 10k? That was 6 miles right? If some of these people could do it, then couldn’t I? What if I come in LAST?

As the bus finally pulled up to the drop off I point, I thought I was going to throw-up. We got off the bus silently in the dark and proceeded to walk to our starting point. One of my friend’ s broke the ice and said, “ We drove the round about way to get here, right? That’s not the actual route, right?. I felt a little better. Apparently we were on the same page. We pushed our way through the crowd to get our place in line.

The race started in waves. We were in the second to last corral. We could hear the cheers get louder and louder as each wave of runners took off and we got closer to the start line. Bands were playing and announcements were being made. The crowd was pressing ahead. I could feel the panic rising again as the people started to rush ahead. I didn’t want to get separated from my friends. I grabbed onto the arm of my husband. “Breathe”, my friend said. “You can do it.” As we got up to the starting line, I could feel my pulse getting faster. And we were off. I had no choice but to run. I told my husband that I could not come in last! The voice inside my head said “ Come on, you can do it.”

The first mile felt okay. We dodged and weaved in between strollers and walkers. The second mile came and went. The cheers of the crowed energized me. “Okay, I thought, this is getting harder.What if I have to go to the bathroom”. My husband informed me that the beginning of the bridge was coming up.







My foot started to go numb as we got to the top of the bridge. This had been consistently happening to me between mile 3 and 4. 3different pairs of running shoes had not fixed this problem. I informed my husband that I needed to walk for awhile. The walking made it worse. Forget it. I need to run and get this race over with. We ran across the top of the Cooper River Bridge and made our way down the incline. A local band greeted us at the exit ramp as we ran down.


“Let’s sprint the last part. There is only one mile left.” I blindly agreed to this plan, running to the brink of nausea. As we passed mile marker number 5, I came to a halt. “You lied!”, I cried.

Critical Citzenship

"Critical Citizenship" is a term that I keep coming across in my research for my social inquiry project. It's come up in the book that I read "Reading and Writing for Social Action" by Randy and Katherine Bomer, and in the work of Ernest Morrell. The more I come across this term, the more I think about what am I personally doing? What do I stand for? What do I believe in? What matters to me? How do I make a stand for what matters to me within the constraints of a state funded public institution that mandates teachers not to give personal opinions?

The Development of a Writer

Two Voices

Whew! Day 3 down and demo completed. I feel as though as weight has been lifted off of me. I can see back and enjoy the rest of the ride. I arrived today with butterflies today but Sally was reassuring. Writing into the day with poems with two voices spoke to where I find myself at this place in time. Two voices in my head that are really loud when I am tired or my son is frustrated that I am not looking at something that he wants me to see. They are the professional and the wannabe stay-at-home. I leave here everyday, my head spinning from information and possibilities. I more tired than I have been since my son was born, I think. I'm trying to find a balance between wanting to do my best at home and at work.



Tonight, I'm going to decompress and storify! Perhaps with a glass of wine.

Zip Zap Zop

Zipping...Zapping...Zopping...Yes! What a busy day! I see the impact of responding to student work and how it fits in writing for social action. Lil's rule about making sure what we say to students should keep them committed to their ideas and their exploration connects with me. I look around at all the middle school students that I work with vs. the elementary students that I come into contact with ,and wonder where the disconnect come from with these students when they lose their joy/passion for things. Even with my own son. He has so much joy and passion for the smallest things. That seems to disappear to with age. I don't want that to disappear. I want to make a committed effort next school year to encourage their commitment to their ideas and exploration.

First Day Under My Belt

An interesting point was sparked today during my group's Murray Card discussion. Who determines what an expert is? How are they are an expert? Does experience vs. knowledge weigh more in being an expert? I also came across this though in my inquiry work. How can I as a teacher encourage my students to be socially active and care about issues if I'm not socially active? This made me think about what is important to me? How do I want my students to see me? My son to see me?

Who knows...my social action inquiry may lead to actual social activism.

For a Better World

I came to orientation for the UNCC writing project with a few ideas for an inquiry project when I was immediately drawn to this book, " For a Better World Reading and Writing for Social Action" by Randy and Katherine Bomer. Earlier in the spring, I attended a great session on social action at the Spring Writing conference and this book was on my to-buy list. The introduction about teacher's roles ion the world got me thinking. How can I can expect my students to care about issues and participate in a democratic society if I don't? This is actually what drew me to the writing project in the first place.

The book talks about language being the medium for democracy. The Bomers state that unless everyone's ways with words are accepted into the great conversation, any conception of public dialogue and mutual decision making, is at best, partial and, at worst, illegitimate and unstable. If the voices of the vulnerable are silent, there is no hope of renewal and justice.

Here I go...

In struggling to figure out how to begin this blog, I found this quotation and it was perfect!

"You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair–the sense that you can never completely put on the page what’s in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page."

Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, 2000
US horror novelist & screenwriter (1947 - )

So let the inquiry in to motivating students to write for social action begin!

The idea of social action for an inquiry project came to in a number of ways. During a car ride to the beach with my brother, my son and and husband, we talked about politics and the sate of the United States. I mentioned that my friend Kate was really sad about a bill that that was going to be passed in MN, amending the state constitution to ban gay marriage. My brother stated that while he had no opinion either way, he was curious so he did some research about it. He found that 29 states actually had an actual constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage or in other words marginalize a group of people. That blew my mind. How could I not care or pay attention if people I cared about or knew or that m y son cared about were affected by this?

Another aha for me occurred at my exchange student's talent show. As I sat in the dark theater and crowded theater (while my son rolled up and down the aisle:), I watched countless acts, beatboxing and krunking, guitar soloists and duets. Then, a particularly ( in my mind) different act came up. Two senior boys in their full ROTC military gear with training guns came on stage. "Don't worry, they are not real.", one of them stated. They went into an intricate routine/formation with their guns. You could hear a pin drop in this auditorium. As I watched the concentration on their faces, I wondered, What do these kids care about? What is important to them? What matters to them? What matters to me?